Kitty Malone sat on a mule,was riding in style

When suddenly, like the sound of a buzzard's breaking

Kity felt laser beams being fired at her head

She said, "I hate laser beams

And you never done see me askin'

For a UFO in Tomahawk County"


Well she kicked the mule and it walked the path

And the aliens fired from behind

Till she stopped the mule and she kicked the rump

And the big old mule took a big old dump


Scent of a mule, you better watch out where you go

Take your laser beams away

Scent of a mule, you better watch out where you go

You better stop that laser game

Or you'll smell my mule


She felt the fire against her neck and it saddened her to feel it burn

When suddenly, like the sound of a breeding Holstein

Kitty said, "Stop, we ain't lookin' for fightin'

In Tomahawk County."


A little guy from the UFO

Came on out and said his name was Joe

She said, "Come on over for some lemonade

Just follow me now with the whole brigade"


repeat chorus


They walked into her cabin shack, they had never seen a southern home

And they liked it, better than their UFO

They liked it, they really liked it

They said, "Here's a place of elegance

Here we shower ourselves in lightness"


repeat chorus