Old Lady: Excuse Me.

Hip Dude: Watch it, lady!

Old Lady: Pardon me, sonny!

(music plays a little louder now as he sings to the camera)

Hip Dude: Down below the street
Can you dig the steady beat?
It's the subway

All: Subway!

Bert: Moving right along
Hear the rhythm loud and strong
It's the subway

All: Subway!

Man With Mustache: 'Cause there isn't any room in this town

Prairie Dawn: They put all the trains down under the ground

Cop: Buy a token now
For a ride that's super-wow
On the subway

All: Subway!

(scene changes to inside the subway train as they all cram in, Bert's hanging onto a strap)

All: (talking at once)

Bert: Uh, excuse me...

Lady in Fur: You should say you're sorry!

Bert: Hi, Kermit.

Man With Mustache: Squeeze inside the door

Little Boy: There's no room for any more

Both: On the subway

All: Subway!

Hip Dude: Hang onto the strap

Lady: Wonder where they hid the map?

Both: On the subway

All: Subway!

Prairie Dawn: If you’re in a hurry take the express

Kermit: It will go right by your local address

Red-Haired Man With Mustache: Swaying to and fro
It's the only way to go
On the subway

All: Subway!

Ohhhhh..... (sounds like the sound a train makes when it passes by)

Kermit: My stop just went by

All: Ohhhhh...

Prairie Dawn: Hey, your thumb’s in my eye

All: Ohhhhh....

Hip Dude: It’s so hot, I could die

All: Anyway, everyway, anywhere

Bert: Packed inside a train
It’s too crowded to complain
On the subway

All: Subway!

Old Woman: You could lose your purse
Or you might lose something worse
On the subway

All: Subway!

Hip guy: It’s the biggest travel bargain in town

Yet Another Woman: The longest running show underground

Man With Mustache: Come on, slip inside
You'll get taken for a ride
On the subway

Kermit: Where's that?

All: On the subway!

(for some reason, some of them begin to dance with each other!)

Prairie Dawn: If you’re in a hurry, take the express

Kermit: It will go right by your local address

All: Buy a token now
For a ride that’s super-wow
On the subway!
On the subway!
On the subway!
On the subway!
On the subway!
Ohhhh.....

(the train stops and everyone piles out, except Bert and the Cop)