Opening Music

Howard Stern singing:
This song.. makes me cry, makes me crave.. a man's backside.
Every time I hear this dumb song played, I feel like I'm gay.
I watch.. the telly While Ralph.. shaves my belly.
People wonderin' if I'm still straight.. am I going gaaayhey?
Tell me why.. this song makes my butt ache.
Tell me why.. homo love could be a mistake.
Men's backside's are a dirty place.
Could I go the gay way?

Fred Norris singing:
Jackie.. bend ooover, and bark loud.. like Ro-ver..
Would K.C. be my love sla-ave? If I went the gay way.

Howard Stern singing:
Get K-Y!.. I'm singin' like a sissy.
Get K-Y!.. Ralph come and smell my butt cheeks.
Get K-Y!.. I'm thinkin' 'bout the ballet
Could I go the gay way?

Fred Norris singing:
Will there be pain, that I can not explain, what's coming over me?
If I start to resist, please don't use fist, or I might need some surgery!

Howard Stern singing:
I watch.. the telly.. while Ralph.. shaves my belly.

Homo.. homo.. homo.. homo.. homo.. With every passing day!

Howard Stern singing:
Get K-Y!.. Would I like to see a sphincter?
Get K-Y!.. No smell is more distincter!
Get K-Y!.. I wonder what my wife would saaaaaay!
If I went the gay way!

Get K-Y!.. sphincter, sphincter, sphincter, sphincter!
Get K-Y!.. Di-stincter, stincter, stincter!
Get K-Y!.. Oh, Fred I need your sphincter!
Get K-Y!.. Give me K.C.'s it's more distincter!
Get K-Y!.. I wonder what my wife would saaaaaay!

If I went the gay way!

If I..went the gay way.