Strap them kids in
Give em a lil bit of vodka
in a cherry coke
were goin to oklahoma
to the family reunion
for the first time in years
its up at uncle slatons
cuz hes gettin on in years
no longer travels but hes
still pretty spry
hes not much on talk
and hes too mean to die
and they'll be comin down
from kansas and west arkansas
it'll be one big old party
like you've never saw

uncle slaton's got his texan pride
back in the thickets with his asian bride
hes got an airstream trailer and a
holstein cow
still makes whiskey cuz he still knows how
plays that chocktaw bingo every friday night
you know he had to leave texas but he won't say why
he owns a quarter section up by lake ufalla
caught a great big ol bluecat on a driftin jugline
sells his hardwood timber to the chippin mill
cooks that crystal meth cuz his shine don't sell
he cooks that crystal meth cuz his shine don't sell
you know he likes that money, he don't mind the smell

my cousin roscoe, slaton's oldest boy
from his second marraige up in illinois
hes raised in east st louis by his
mammas people where they do things different
thought he'd come on down
hes goin to dallas texas in a semi truck
caught from that big mcdonalds
you know that one thats built up on that
big old bridge across the will rogers turnpike
took the big cabin exit stopped and bought a carton of cigarrets
at that indian smoke shop with the big neon smoke rings
and the cherokee nations hittin the skogee late that night
somebody ran the stoplight at the shawnee bypass
roscoe tried to miss him but he didn't quite

bob and mae come up from
some little town way down by
lake taxoma where he coaches football
they were two-A champions for two years running
but he says they wont be this year
not they wont be this year
and he stopped off in tuska at the pop knife and gun place
bought a sks rifle and a couple full cases of that steel core ammo
with the beardam primers from some east bloc nation
that no longer needs em
and a desert eagle thats one great big old pistol
i mean fifty caliber made by bad-ass ebers
and some surplus tracers for that old BAR
of slatons as soon as it gets dark
were gonna have us a time
were gonna have us a time

ruth-anne and lynn come from baxter springs
thats one hell-raisin town way down in
southeastern kansas
got a biger bar next to the lingerie store
thats got rollin stones lips up there in
bright pink neon
and they're right downtown where everyone can see em
and they burn all night
you know they burn all night
they burn all night

Uncle slaton's got his texan pride
back in the thickets with his asian bride
hes got a corner pasture and an acre lots
he sells them owner financed strictly to them
its got no kind of credit
cause he knows they're slackers
and they'll miss that payment
and he'll take it back
plays that choctaw bingo
every friday night
he drinks his johnny walker
at that club 69
were gonna strap those kinds in
give em a lil bit of vinadryll
were gonna have us a time
were gonna have us a time