I used to think my life was so empty,
I used to think life was passing me by.
I was just about ready,
To curl up and die.

But one day I got a visit,
From the cable company,
They hooked me up, plugged me right in,
And now I've got cable TV.

And so I get to watch...
The stock report in Korean,
Midget wrestling on channel 3,
It costs me fifty bucks a month just to see 'em,
Yeah, but that's OK with me....

I got cable TV (cable TV),
Cable TV (cable TV),
Eighty-three channels of ecstacy,
I love my cable TV yeah,
Love my cable TV.

I got the Siamese Faith Healer's Network,
The news and weather from Peru,
I got celebrity hockey,
And raquetball channel two.
Bug Bunny direct from Atlanta,
Mr. Wizard is on at five.
I've got a satellite dish on the trunk of my car
So I can watch MTV while I drive.

I'm talking 'bout,
Real quality programs.
The type you just can't get for free,
Now I'm never gonna leave my apartment,
Cos there's just so much for me to see

On my cable TV (cable TV),
Cable TV (cable TV),
Yeah, if you have a problem you know where I'll be:
Watching my cable TV, yeah,
Watching my cable TV

My friends they're getting kinda worried,
They think I'm turning into some kind of freak.
But they're just jealous,
Cos I've seen `Porky's' twenty-seven times this week

On my cable TV (cable TV),
Cable TV (cable TV),
The greatest thing that ever happened to me,
I love my cable TV, yeah,
I need my cable TV.
Can't live without my cable TV, yeah
Watching my cable TV.