Blame it on La Lanne

When something goes wrong

That sweatsuited scapegoat

For the exercising bomb



Put the blame on Jack La Lanne

He's our man



My lawn turned yellow

My goldfish died

I squirted some Ben-Gay

Right in my eye



He's the fucking cause

That sweatsuited scapegoat

With the atomic sock

When he exercises me

I know he doesn't shower

When I see him beatin' meat

He makes me want to shower.