AHHHH...The Lord is a monkey
Thanksgiving's coming on the Fourth of July
In the form of a girl with a needle in her eye
Well she come from out west on a nickel's worth of gas
Got her mind on her money and a dope up her ass
Outside of Phoenix where her gimmick broke down
Fucked that cracker for his rig and she was out of that town.
HA HA HA HAA
Well she was a hare krishna in the ashwam bed
She was sellin' (?) Had a funky-ass head
Well she put food in my mouth and she threw me on the bed
And she cut off my balls and she sewed ‘em to my head
Well she's headin' back east in a 57 Caddy
Got her mind on her money and a dope for her daddy

Well I met her on the street, where she beat me like a fool
Then she got me accepted to an ivy league school
Well I really did good but it's kickin' my ass
I lost 38 pounds and my eye turned to glass
Well she's looking pretty good first week in July
She's got a dope up her ass and a needle in her eye

Thanksgivings coming on the Fourth of July
In the form of a girl with a needle in her eye
Well she come from out west on a nickel's worth of gas
Got her mind on her money and a dope up her ass