Backside melts into the sofa
My world, my TV, and my food
Besides listening to my belly gurgle
Ain't much else to do
Yeah, I sweat a lot
Pants fall down every time I bend over
And my feet itch
Yeah - I married a scarecrow
I hate you
Talkin' to myself
Everybody's starin' at me
I'm only bleedin'
Someone taps me on the shoulder every 5 minutes
Nobody speaks English anymore
Would anyone tell me if I was gettin' stupider?
I hate you
Talkin' to myself
You don't feel it after awhile
You take the beating
I'm a swingin' guy
Throw a belt over the shower curtain rod
And swing - - -
Toss me inside a hefty
And put me in the ground
A drink needs me
I don't
I ain't about to guzzle no tears
So kiss my ass
Newscasters, cockroaches, and desserts
I hate you
Talkin' to myself
Everybody's starin' at me
I'm only bleedin'
where are the kids?
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I think it's time I had a talk with my kids
I'll just tell 'em what my daddy told me
YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA AMOUNT TO NOTHIN'