Well, I'm a lonesome schoolboy
and I just came into town
Yeah, I'm a lonesome schoolboy
and I just came into town
Well, I heard so much about London
I decided to check it out

Well, I wait in Leicester Square
with a come-hither look in my eye
Yeah, I'm leaning on Nelsons Column
but all I do is talk to the lime

Oh where can I get my cock sucked?
Where can I get my ass fucked?
I may have no money,
but I know where to put it every time

Well, I asked a young policeman
if he'd only lock me up for the night
Well, I've had pigs in the farmyard,
some of them, some of them, they're alright
Well, he fucked me with his truncheon
and his helmet was way too tight

Oh where can I get my cock sucked?
Where can I get my ass fucked?
I ain't got no money,
but I know where to put it every time

I'm a lonesome schoolboy